C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
