so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
