i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
