so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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