How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
