oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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