its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
