Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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