Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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