I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
