I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
