no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You can't just leave with hair like that
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
