youre lurking in front of me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she pinky promised me she was 18
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think your dad took our porno
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
