I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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