everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
