Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
