i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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