Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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