Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
