Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
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After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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