What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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