Whod you bang
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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