i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
