he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
