I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
