Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Randomize
