I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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