I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
