whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
