Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
