Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
