my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
