Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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