I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So squirting runs in the family.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
