we made out on top of his cat.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
