"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
