Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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