How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The struggles of a small town man whore
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
