I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
