Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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