I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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