what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
