Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
