my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
