That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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