Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
