i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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