we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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