Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
