I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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