just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
