goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
