I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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