Plan B is the new Plan A
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
