you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
