I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
