we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
