mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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