i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
